A cappella group performing on stage
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Getting Aca-Action at the After Party

Absurdist A Cappella

This time we discuss aca-action at the after party.

Setting the Stage: All right, so the competition or invitational has come to a close and it’s time for the after party. The drinks have begun to flow, and you’ve been making eyes with this fine little aca-hottie, and are trying to figure out how to close the deal. What better approach to ride the proverbial horse that brought you to the dance, calling on your crew to perform the drunk-appella that will deliver the objects of your affection to your arms.

Song Selection: Contrary to other absurdist approaches, there aren’t quite so many rights and wrongs in terms of song selection here. The key to do something that serves your talents and brings them to the fore—pick something where you have a solo, or a comical interjection, or where the band falls out for your beatboxing exhibition. Whatever the case, pick a song that does the most to make you look good. It’s also best to avoid songs you performed on stage that night—you don’t want to bore anyone with a repeat.

Setting: This can work at any given party, but you’ll want to make sure you position yourself in a such a location where you’ll draw an audience. This technique is most effective when you’re not so much singing to your object as performing for a crowd of which she’s a part. That way you come off 40 percent less desperate and more like a real showman, ready to perform anytime, anyplace.

Choreography: Most parties won’t have a ton of room to physically maneuver, so your choreography will have to be modest. The key thing here is for you, personally, to have room to shine. For example, if you have the solo, it’s OK for the rest of the crew to be crammed together in a corner, but you’ll need a little space to work the crowd, ideally sparing a wink, touching a cheek of all of the other reasonably attractive girls looking on, so as to inspire your girl’s jealousy.

Other Notes: Lots of folks will insist that the way to pick up a mate in this context is to be yourself, and to let the goofiness of a cappella fall by the wayside in favor of more genuine interpersonal interactions—a little less performance, a little more meaningful conversation. There is an argument to be made in this direction, to be sure, but by the same token honest conversation sounds like a lot of work, and it can be much easier to make a girl swoon with your singing skills. Pick our poison, but don’t be afraid to lean upon the skills that are fundamentally your own.

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